David: What's your view of employee pronouns in your email signature?
Marta: Well, to be very honest with you, I'm very confused that this is still a topic because it's such an easy way to make sure you don't misgender people and they don't misgender you. And I put my pronouns everywhere, every portal I use, anything because it's just... You don't have to be trans, you don't have to be non-binary to not like being mis-gendered.
But especially if you want to create a safe space for transsexual or
non-binary clients, candidates, or people who work with us, or even friends or
friends of friends, anyone who can see our profile in any of these social media
platforms or our email.
David: Giving clarity on their pronouns on signatures is one small step that people can take to promote a positive and healthy environment. What are other strategies that organizations can follow to promote that healthy environment for colleagues who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community?
Marta: Well, there's something that I keep talking about on LinkedIn and to all my coworkers and to my poor friends who have to listen to me. We have to make sure, if we're a company that really wants the space to be safe for all minorities, for LGBTQ people, we have to make sure to educate our employees and to make sure everyone knows, even during the onboarding process, what not to say or what not to do, to eliminate those microaggressions from the workplace.
Because there are so many things that people do unknowingly and it's not because they hate LGBTQ people. It's not because they are bad people. They're unaware because they were not educated. I truly believe that educating people is kind of like a vaccine for workplace homophobia.
And the more we educate people, the fewer incidents we will have in the workplace and the safer the space also becomes, which is why I'm so incredibly happy with what's happening right now in our company. The trans awareness webinar we had last week. That was incredible. All these different small ways, videos, LinkedIn posts, emails that we use to make sure every single employee has a chance to read this and look at this and learn something about how to create a safe space for LGBTQ colleagues.
David: Well, you did mention there that people can say things unintentional. Unfortunately, at times people do say things and it is entirely intentional.
Marta: That is true.
David: So what active role could a company play in your opinion when offensive comments do occur?
Marta: I would, first of all, give these people a benefit of a doubt. I really do truly believe that most of the offensive comments, I, for example, have heard during my work time but also in the university and from friends of my friends were because people just were unaware of how huge of an impact a small comment like that can make. And even if they do mean it as an offensive kind of thing, they just don't know how big of an issue that is.
So I would say definitely make sure that that person who is responsible for that incident is educated and knows what they did wrong. I do really believe, like I said before that if we make sure people know that what they do is wrong because it supports a system of oppression, then most of them will just not do these things.
David: What do you think people themselves, individually can do this pride month to raise awareness about the important issues that impact the global community?
Marta: I think it's been so easy to raise awareness now because we have social media. We have all these platforms and there's nothing easier than just share stuff and send interesting articles or videos to your friends. And this is how I think, communicating, especially now during the pandemic, all these platforms like TikTok or like Instagram reels, where you have short videos of people just talking about their experiences with homophobia, biphobia, queerphobia transphobia.
David: If we switch our attention back to bisexuality, we're talking a lot around what we can do online. We're talking about what companies can do. But what are the three things that you would plead with people to try not to say to a bisexual person?
Marta: Okay. That's my favorite question, definitely because there are so many microaggressions against bisexual people. There are so many things that people say, they mean well but it just comes out terrible. Definitely the first thing would be when people say, "Oh, everyone's a little bi” I've heard that hundreds of times. "Oh, we all like to experiment." You might think saying these things that you are very progressive and open-minded and like, “I'm on your side because I applaud this crazy behavior of yours” but it actually is very cruel. Well, first of all, it is factually incorrect because not everyone is bi obviously. Sexuality is a spectrum just like gender is and we all fall on that spectrum somewhere.
There's so many things that impact our sexuality, our genetics, childhood, culture, family. And to put everyone in one box and everyone's a little bit bi is just factually incorrect. It strips people off their identity. Of being bisexual for me is a very crucial part of who I am. And when people look me in the eye and they say, "Oh, everyone's a little bi." they are taking away my experience and they are trivializing it, basically. So don't ever tell a bi person everyone's a little bi.
Another thing not to say is it's very weird to me, and it's happened to me so many times, that people feel so weirdly confident in asking very personal sexual related questions to bisexual people. People who barely know me asking me questions like, "Oh, how many men and how many women?" And, "Have you ever had a threesome?" You would never ask that question to a straight person you just met. You wouldn't. Why would you ask me that question when I'm not your close friend?
Again, it's about the fact that bisexual people, especially women in that case, are extremely sexualized. If you are not someone's close and personal friend, do not ask them intimate questions about their sexual experience.
And the third thing is something that I have heard many times as well. And people also mean well when they say it, but I hate it. And it's, "Oh, you're so lucky. You have all these options. All the fish in the sea." First of all, no, we're not lucky. We are a minority. And people don't realize that, but bisexual people actually have the highest suicide and depression rates within the LGBTQ community right after trans youth. So we have lots of issues we struggle with every day, identity crisis, impostor syndrome, all of these issues on top of the homophobia that we experienced at the same level as our homosexual siblings from the community. So, it is really inappropriate to tell us that we're lucky.
And at the same time, the other issue with this comment is it's, again, sexualizing us because people are suggesting that we are attracted to everyone. People are suggesting that when I walk into a bar and I look around, suddenly I'm attracted to every person there, which is obviously nonsense because if you're straight and you go into a bar, you're not attracted to every single person of a different gender there. And if you're homosexual and you're going to a bar, you're not going to be attracted to every single person of the same gender there. It just doesn't work that way with sexuality.
